这是我们每月竞赛的投稿。11月的主题是感恩。办公室的浴室隔间很暗，但也不至于黑到我看不清红色和白色的对比。一滴血，鲜红的，冒着泡泡，染脏了我的内衣。我记得那是我见过的最明亮的红色。逃跑是个错误。我应该快步走的。或者更好的是，我应该在午休时间做点别的事情。电话另一端的护士听起来很关心。“有多少血?”“就几滴，但我不应该流血，对吧?”我说。 She assured me that some “spotting” was normal, common even, but I should come in anyway, “just in case.” My husband met me in the doctor’s office waiting room. When the nurse called my name he squeezed my hand. “Don’t worry, everything is going to be fine,” he said. Everything was not fine.
超声波检查证实我们失去了孩子。我的第一反应是"这不可能"我的第二个想法是，“我做了什么?”是因为跑步和压力吗?别的吗?我们的儿子欧文是那么的容易。蜜月刚结束，我就怀孕了，9个月后，我们抱着一个健康的男孩。那是四年多前的事了。我现在是不是太老了?几个月后，当我再次怀孕时，我的医生每天给我开一剂婴儿阿司匹林，以预防一种罕见的凝血疾病。 “Will it help?” I asked hopefully. “Probably not, but it can’t hurt,” she said. Determined to reduce my anxiety, I stopped running on the treadmill and started doing yoga. I tried to cultivate a Zen-like attitude. Lots of women have miscarriages, I reasoned. I’m not special. It was all going well, until my ten-week ultrasound appointment. Lying on the table, my swollen belly covered in gel, the look on the sonographer’s face said it all. I stopped doing yoga. I stopped doing anything that required a physical exertion greater than lifting a cup of decaffeinated tea. There was no medical reason for my self-imposed bed rest; it just felt like the right thing to do. Besides that, I was depressed. Seven months – they felt like years – after our second miscarriage, I was pregnant again.
再一次，我试着保持冷静，做好最坏的打算。我的医生让我采取了一切常规的预防措施。她还让我每周去验血当我怀孕11周时，其中一个测试显示我的激素水平出现了错误的方向——然后，噗!-又一次怀孕没了。伟德app下载ios在家庭聚会和聚会上，我们尽量避免谈论婴儿的话题。这不是一件容易的事。每当你有了一个孩子，人们总是想知道你打算什么时候再要一个。未经请求的建议很常见。朋友们喜欢推荐他们在网上读到的替代疗法，比如针灸。 Although they meant well, they often said things like “you can always try again” and “at least you have Owen.” My sister-in-law, who has four kids, suggested we get a puppy. One evening after dinner, my husband announced he wanted to stop trying. “Maybe God is trying to tell us something,” he said. “Like what?” I asked. “Like maybe we should quit while we’re ahead,” he said. I pretended not to hear him. That night, I dreamt I had a baby, a girl. She had almond-shaped eyes and a dimple on her left cheek. She looked healthy. In a hospital bed I cradled her in my arms and sang to her softly until a nurse came to take her away.
一年后，我又怀孕了。我的丈夫，尽管他之前还心存疑虑，现在却喜出望外。我更小心了。我们说好了在我怀孕至少五个月前不会告诉任何人。伟德app下载ios当我们最终告诉人们的时候，声音是安静的，有节制的，没有我们之前通告的那种兴奋。虽然外表上我很勇敢，但内心却很压抑。去医院和验血的时候我都拿着它尽管所有人都保证我的妊娠进展正常，我还是拿着它。伟德app下载ios我甚至拿着它通过超声波检查，超声波显示有十个小手指和十个小脚趾。直到我第一次听到女儿哭，我才松了一口气。 Gwendolyn Kelly arrived via Cesarean section on June 25, 2014. She is a happy baby with bright, inquisitive eyes and a coy smile that’s all dimples. Although she has been a part of our lives for three years now, not a day goes by that I don’t feel grateful for her existence.